Keep Knocking Open Your Broken Heart

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So the pain you feel drives you completely insane, and makes you feel like a small demon is inside the chambers of your heart screaming and scratching at the soft walls with its overgrown black finger nails. What now you ask? Your experience tainted the whole concept of love as a strong cynicism waxes over your once bright mind. Your heart is black. Maybe a rebound might help. Ah yes, if you fuck someone else just like them, then you will be healed. Or perhaps numbed. Oh shit, nothing can seem to stop the feelings.

On the hero’s journey of love, what we sometimes forget is that we would encounter loves darkest challenge. The Universe says, “if you want something really incredible, its not going to be easy, most of the long-term relationships you see are people that settle, and that’s why they last so long and seem so easy. You chose a different path, you’ve got to face the enemy. I will give you enemies that you think are your closest allies. Narcissists offering negative connotation to the title of Prince or Princess. You will have to face them, perhaps many of them, in order to receive the treasure which you truly desire. This is the path of the champion”

Face the pain of the ex. The way it feels that they fuck other people, or became completely enamoured with someone else and jumped ship. The way it feels that they betrayed you, destroyed you, made you truly sick. Get angry, get dark, let fury burn your soul alive, let the pain break you apart. Go right into that feeling of the soft flesh of your heart searing, and the insanity of your mind. No matter how long it takes. On the other side is an even deeper more genuine love than you have ever experienced. All the shitty feelings they brought up, when you go through them, you are welcomed to the integration of their opposite, and the beautiful reflection in your reality when you break through it. The god and goddess you have been waiting for is on the other side of your broken heart.

When I was a young boy, I went to a fancy restaurant with my parents. There was an older man that my family did not know, having dinner with his wife. She was very beautiful, and he was a very sociable person in a way that had a characteristic charm. For some reason our family sat at the table with him. His very presence was a celebration, and I supposed we were naturally drawn to his infectious passion for life. He was fucking cool! He talked to me, and told me something that stood out in my mind, and something I will never forget. He said, “I love my job, and I love my wife. To get my job I kept knocking on the door. They said no, over and over, but I kept knocking. Eventually they said yes. And that’s how I got my wife as well. Just keep knocking, over and over, eventually you get it”.

Keep knocking on the door of love, keep getting your heart broken further and further. Go through that pain, deeper and deeper. Eventually you will knock on the right door, and not the one you find out wasn’t right later on.

-Cody

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4 comments

  1. Claudia DeCesare

    Dear Cody-just finished resistance to happiness and other articles you have written on your website – as a cave dweller in the darkness – always looking for light and love – but being so scared of it at the same time, I was so touched by the way you expressed yourself. My heart sprang open with deep sadness and joy all at the same time -made me realize I am not the freak I think I am at times – alone in the dark -with all my thoughts and feelings – so big and unmanageable most days. Always struggling in myself – and yet figuring things out for everybody else with ease.

    Thank you for your beautiful heart and spirit that made these words possible. I am always searching, and once in a while the path is well lit and feels right – bumping into your spirit was a light on my path – a guide along the mysterious unraveling of the idea that I can really know love………

    • Cody

      Wow thank you so much for this comment! I haven’t been writing for some time and was just about to get back into it when lo and behold I stumbled upon your comment. It means so much to me that it hit you the way it feels right from my heart! Thank you a million times, and much much good fortune and happiness to you for years to come!

  2. Ali

    Cody! I wish you were writing more on the site. I love this, so did my mangled, tormented, dark and twisted broken heart. Thanks for sharing… Ali #nexttimeillknock

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